i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
--e.e. cummings
There are those days…. And they have been many lately. There are those days when the sky is heavy with grey and with the feeling that it will never. stop. raining. on me. The air is so thick that not even a good thunderstorm could clear it out. And I hunker down resolving to just. keep.going.
There are days when the stress is palpable when my body feels tied in bands that are being pulled in opposite directions. Without knowing it my body changes shape. My shoulders start to slump. I curl into a human letter C. I don’t realize that I have pulled in and begun protecting my heart and turned inward against the pain until my body starts breaking down for it. My back brings me down hard, my legs struggle to move forward. I ache and I am tired and coping with everything is that much harder.
And there are days when his struggle paints grey and black streaks against my own sky. War has broken him, but not in the conventional ways. Neither of us know quite how to categorize it. Or what to do about it, except to brace against it and to keep fighting for us.
And then there are days when we see clearly the toll this has taken on our children. Their shoulders slump too. They are friable. The internalization of their own pain becomes external in ways that surprise and exasperate.
I gulp and realize that it’s raining on all of us.
And so there are those days… And they have been many lately when all these things and more gang up on me. And I wonder at the heaviness and brokenness of the world.
But then…. Then, out of the blue will come another kind of day.
There are days when a switch flips and the color comes back on. Days when I look up and see the sun and blue sky for what feels like the first time in years.
Days when I say with e.e. cummings that, TODAY is the sun’s birthday. Day’s when healing is happening and the world turns green with shoots of growth in all direction. Days when I can stand straight and tall and strong and my body brings me far. Days when the laughter of my children invites all that has turned within to come out and play. To play!
There are days when I breathe in and remember that whatever else may be true that right now we are really and truly together. Right now we can pull out shoes and coats and go out and fill our lungs with the air of crystal clear beauty . There are days when adventures stretch before us and paths wind and curl in the distance beckoning us to walk them together…. And. we. do.
On these days, the grey and the heaviness get rolled up like a rug. The light that we have have been holding out for… hoping that it really did shine as we kept stubbornly believing… comes streaming through. Maybe it dapples the ground in front of us along the path we walk together. Maybe it streams through the windows shining both in and out and warming us all through.
There are days when the lights seem to be thrown back on again and for the first time in a long time there is enough air to breathe and we aren’t gasping for breath.
And we really are ok.
Today is one of those days. There is no way of predicting how long this will last. Maybe it is the beginning of a season, or maybe it is simply a momentary reprieve between seasons of slogging through.
I just don’t know.
But today is the sun’s birthday and I fling wide my windows open to all which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
Yes. There are these days too.
This is enough today.
Today is enough.
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
--e.e. cummings
There are those days…. And they have been many lately. There are those days when the sky is heavy with grey and with the feeling that it will never. stop. raining. on me. The air is so thick that not even a good thunderstorm could clear it out. And I hunker down resolving to just. keep.going.
There are days when the stress is palpable when my body feels tied in bands that are being pulled in opposite directions. Without knowing it my body changes shape. My shoulders start to slump. I curl into a human letter C. I don’t realize that I have pulled in and begun protecting my heart and turned inward against the pain until my body starts breaking down for it. My back brings me down hard, my legs struggle to move forward. I ache and I am tired and coping with everything is that much harder.
And there are days when his struggle paints grey and black streaks against my own sky. War has broken him, but not in the conventional ways. Neither of us know quite how to categorize it. Or what to do about it, except to brace against it and to keep fighting for us.
And then there are days when we see clearly the toll this has taken on our children. Their shoulders slump too. They are friable. The internalization of their own pain becomes external in ways that surprise and exasperate.
I gulp and realize that it’s raining on all of us.
And so there are those days… And they have been many lately when all these things and more gang up on me. And I wonder at the heaviness and brokenness of the world.
But then…. Then, out of the blue will come another kind of day.
There are days when a switch flips and the color comes back on. Days when I look up and see the sun and blue sky for what feels like the first time in years.
Days when I say with e.e. cummings that, TODAY is the sun’s birthday. Day’s when healing is happening and the world turns green with shoots of growth in all direction. Days when I can stand straight and tall and strong and my body brings me far. Days when the laughter of my children invites all that has turned within to come out and play. To play!
There are days when I breathe in and remember that whatever else may be true that right now we are really and truly together. Right now we can pull out shoes and coats and go out and fill our lungs with the air of crystal clear beauty . There are days when adventures stretch before us and paths wind and curl in the distance beckoning us to walk them together…. And. we. do.
On these days, the grey and the heaviness get rolled up like a rug. The light that we have have been holding out for… hoping that it really did shine as we kept stubbornly believing… comes streaming through. Maybe it dapples the ground in front of us along the path we walk together. Maybe it streams through the windows shining both in and out and warming us all through.
There are days when the lights seem to be thrown back on again and for the first time in a long time there is enough air to breathe and we aren’t gasping for breath.
And we really are ok.
Today is one of those days. There is no way of predicting how long this will last. Maybe it is the beginning of a season, or maybe it is simply a momentary reprieve between seasons of slogging through.
I just don’t know.
But today is the sun’s birthday and I fling wide my windows open to all which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
Yes. There are these days too.
This is enough today.
Today is enough.
0 Comments
RSS Feed
