The Things We Don't Say

Being a spouse, a family member, a dependent....we learn what to say and not say.
Not just for our safety and the safety of our service member, but because we have learned the hard way that sometimes, some things just aren't worth saying.
That doesn't mean they aren't still true, and don't still need to be said.

There are things that you don't see about military families.


There are things we keep close to our chests.



We don't tell you about every time they go, partly because they are gone so often you'd get bored of us mentioning it.



We don't tell you how quickly the Welcome Home photos turn back into the nights of girls crying for their Daddies.



We don't tell you that the smaller goings are hard on the heart too--that it's not just the long ones the wear us down.



We don't tell you that the "only a month" of a work-up is more than just a month when you add it to the time (months, years) they've been gone already or even just add it to the time they will be gone for the deployment for which that work up is happening.



Or that there is an ache that comes with all of the little events that they miss for the work-ups too. Back to school... horse camp... birthdays... holidays... and so much more can be covered in the span of a month.






We don't tell you that we spend the precious weeks we have together making as many memories as we can and protecting our time together with jealousy.



We don't tell you that 13 years in there are still tears at the drop off even for the "short ones."



We don't tell you that there is a behind the eyes tired that sets in and doesn't go away, or that behind that "business as usual with the Navy!" "This is what we do" flippant comment and set of the jaw that we show you that sometimes there is also deep sadness.



We don't tell you that very often.



But it's true.

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