For Now

There is a huge vastness

Of the house without you in it

There are echoes of thoughts

And feelings

Bouncing from room to room

I do not clean

Or move anything around

As if the loss of the weight

Of the dust on the book shelves

Would unbalance

The hard won

Stability currently in my brain

Shortly

I will make something to eat

Then stare at it

Put it back for another time

I am

Drinking more coffee than I ought

Because the taste of it

Reminds me of your mouth

There are

Moments when

I realize

I am grinding my teeth against the prayers

That you come back alright

I just

Do not know what to do with my hands anymore

And I am

Honestly surprised

To find myself here

In this depression

But it feels alright

For now

I will see you soon