When they come, it’s not politely, with invitation in hand.
It’s fast, and violent, and utterly without feeling.
Cracked from its frame, the door hangs like words you wish you could have taken back.
Words that led you here, unthinking, unknowing, alone.
Stare down at the floor, laces gone the way of your belt, your dignity, your freedom.
Tracing back over the words, the actions that combined to bring you here-was it worth it, was it worthy, what does it make you?
Words.
Thoughts.
Actions.
Let us step aside, and press replay. Find the fault, the error, the point of origin.
In the beginning.
Mental health is a stigma. An anomaly in what we consider normal. It is a world of lost trusts, of lost lives, of lost people.
Never is this so true as in the Military. We are expected to believe the fiction of mentally well, mental fit soldiers, even as they spend many, many dollars to break them down into something readily malleable. Truly, can one be trained out of what is considered societally normal into being able to kill at a word, at an indication of wrong without damaging what is considered fundamentally correct in the brain?
When one is broken down into the very basics of what makes you tick, so you can plainly see where the cracks are and adjust for them, if not given a start or balance point, is it any wonder that the cracks become larger?
Consider the soldier coming home, brutally killing those he loves because of something that only exists in his head. Why is it even in his head?
And yet, stepping forward and saying “I need help” is as much of a stigma to your life as going crazy because you don’t trust those around you. It’s admitting that there might be something wrong, something that was/has been damaged-no one stops to wonder if it can be fixed, no one stops to ask if it’s something that can be worked through-right there, you are no longer trusted, no longer wanted. So you fall down, beyond where you were, to a place of dark, unknowing, uncaring despair.
You are now nothing. No one. Something to be used, broken, and thrown away, like a dollar store toy.
What is to be done? Is it the fault of those that broke the toys? Is it the fault of those who gave the toys?
Who bears the burden of fault?
If you need help, or know someone who does, please reach out. We are here for you.
We really are.
Consultant Line: 1(800) 342-9647 Web: www.militaryonesource.mil
Military Crisis Line: 1(800) 273-TALK (8255)
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE
1 (800) 273-TALK (8255) Web: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) Web: www.thehotline.org
NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE
1 (800) 656-HOPE (4673) Web: www.rainn.org
NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE
1 (800) 4-A-CHILD (422-4453) Web: www.childhelp.org
NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN
1 (800) THE-LOST (843-5678) Web: www.missingkids.com
Note: Many of these have options for those with communication
needs such as Español only or hearing impaired. Check the organization’s website for details.
It’s fast, and violent, and utterly without feeling.
Cracked from its frame, the door hangs like words you wish you could have taken back.
Words that led you here, unthinking, unknowing, alone.
Stare down at the floor, laces gone the way of your belt, your dignity, your freedom.
Tracing back over the words, the actions that combined to bring you here-was it worth it, was it worthy, what does it make you?
Words.
Thoughts.
Actions.
Let us step aside, and press replay. Find the fault, the error, the point of origin.
In the beginning.
Mental health is a stigma. An anomaly in what we consider normal. It is a world of lost trusts, of lost lives, of lost people.
Never is this so true as in the Military. We are expected to believe the fiction of mentally well, mental fit soldiers, even as they spend many, many dollars to break them down into something readily malleable. Truly, can one be trained out of what is considered societally normal into being able to kill at a word, at an indication of wrong without damaging what is considered fundamentally correct in the brain?
When one is broken down into the very basics of what makes you tick, so you can plainly see where the cracks are and adjust for them, if not given a start or balance point, is it any wonder that the cracks become larger?
Consider the soldier coming home, brutally killing those he loves because of something that only exists in his head. Why is it even in his head?
And yet, stepping forward and saying “I need help” is as much of a stigma to your life as going crazy because you don’t trust those around you. It’s admitting that there might be something wrong, something that was/has been damaged-no one stops to wonder if it can be fixed, no one stops to ask if it’s something that can be worked through-right there, you are no longer trusted, no longer wanted. So you fall down, beyond where you were, to a place of dark, unknowing, uncaring despair.
You are now nothing. No one. Something to be used, broken, and thrown away, like a dollar store toy.
What is to be done? Is it the fault of those that broke the toys? Is it the fault of those who gave the toys?
Who bears the burden of fault?
If you need help, or know someone who does, please reach out. We are here for you.
We really are.
Consultant Line: 1(800) 342-9647 Web: www.militaryonesource.mil
Military Crisis Line: 1(800) 273-TALK (8255)
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE
1 (800) 273-TALK (8255) Web: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) Web: www.thehotline.org
NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE
1 (800) 656-HOPE (4673) Web: www.rainn.org
NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE
1 (800) 4-A-CHILD (422-4453) Web: www.childhelp.org
NATIONAL CENTER FOR MISSING AND EXPLOITED CHILDREN
1 (800) THE-LOST (843-5678) Web: www.missingkids.com
Note: Many of these have options for those with communication
needs such as Español only or hearing impaired. Check the organization’s website for details.
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