I know this because I am a recovering perfectionist.
As I stand looking at my living room, I am smacked with the reality of my imperfection. It is a disaster. Seven loads of laundry need folding; kids toys are shoved under the couch; dusting is a distant memory. The rest of my house provides no solace from my imperfections. I am not perfect.
I have read hundreds of articles and tips that promise me perfection in only a few minutes. All I need are a few more baskets and 30 minutes. Perfection is around the corner if only I tried a little harder. I am not perfect.
I look at Pinterest and think, ‘Oh, I could do that with a little more effort.’ I see the meals, the workouts, the projects, the gardens, the kid’s activities, and they are all more than what I do. Perfection eludes me in each of the categories. It taunts me with beautiful snapshots from far away homes. Again, I am not perfect.
Everyone strives to be better. Self-improvement is a powerful tool. However, the journey of self-improvement often detours to the road of self-destruction. There is always room for improvement. I can always do more and do better. I am not perfect.
Perfection and its pursuit trap me. I will never develop a system that is good enough or own enough baskets to make my house magazine worthy. I will never make, do, achieve, or even read everything I pin. I am not perfect.
If I am not careful I will forget the excellence in our family and in the job I do. My kids know how to clean their own bathroom because I am not perfect. My kids understand that there is usually time for just a little more play or joy because I am not perfect. They know that helping is important and can see with empathy when others need help because I am not perfect. They know how to apologize and accept an apology with grace because I am not perfect.
For now their joy is in the pursuit of a perfect trap, not in the actual perfection of the trap. I am happy to leave my pile of laundry, my empty baskets, my pinterest woes, to find the joy in pursuit. I am not perfect, but I am happy.