No cracks, not a thing out of place.
Chris was the one who really brought the idea of accepted perfection to the group.
That at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what we do, it matter who we are.
How we show up not just for others, but for our own selves.
Perfection…. To me perfection is having someone that we don’t have to explain everything to. We find that in each other. We find that when we reach out and say that it is a bad day and we don’t have to say anything else. We are accepted. We are welcomed into the warmth of understanding by each other and we don’t have to pretend anymore. We don’t have to show our iron back bones and the arms that never stop waving our flags. We don’t have to hang ourselves with our yellow ribbons. We accept that there are others out there doing the same thing and we accept that we are not alone. We accept that we have a voice and that we can make a choice: talk or not to talk.
One of the best ways I have found to get into my groove of a deployment is to relate to another spouse because they know what it is like. I don’t have to tell them anything. We could just be sitting watching our kids play and that is enough to get to the next day. It lessens the burden. It gives you grownup contact and it allows you to be just you for a moment or two. Not Supermom. Not gung-ho military spouse, FRG leader or author. It lets you breathe. It is important to be able to breathe and not have to put on any number of the masks that we wear during these wars.
So, even if you are supposed to get the lawn mowed or the dishes washed, always take some time to breath. The grass will still be there in a moment, and the dishes will too. Our spouse can even hang out in the car waiting for us to wrap up the phone call so we can go out because these moments are what get us through. We lean on each other. It might be the only time that you are truly understood that day or the other person;s only chance to talk to a grownup. Our soldier wouldn’t leave his battle buddy outside the gate while he went in, and neither do we. We ride the same roller coaster and we are in this war together.